« Not one of the other Stephen Clarkes you might have read about, who include an Olympic swimmer, a world-record-holding pumpkin sculptor and various criminals. I’m just the author whose new novel, Merde at the Paris Olympics, is now out. » — Stephen Clarke
If you are an expat in Paris (or not!) you must know the adventures of Paul West, The hero of A Year in the Merde and its sequels depicting French lifestyle from his personal perspective as an English man. The books became incredibly famous as many people could relate to the story. Who never had problems adapting to a new country? The language, the workplace, meeting people… many subjects tackled in the books with a great sense of humour.
As a French girl, I was very amused by those books. Even if Stephen Clarke gently points out some of our weird traits, it is obvious that deep down he really loves France. As a matter of fact, I found out he lives in France! I spent a few years in London and I often thought that English people loved to hate the French! If there is a football match in a pub between France and England you will definitely hear a lot of jokes about the French but just like Stephen Clarke, you can also tell it is playful (most of the time!). It is a never ending love / hate relationship between our two countries that Stephen Clarke illustrates really well.
His new book Merde at the Paris Olympics is now out and he’ll be coming to Bill and Rosa’s Book Room (where he is the 17th best-selling author) on January 20th to tell us all about it! You can get a copy to read in advance very soon. To whet your whistle, Stephen very kindly accepted to answer a few questions for FUSAC.
Stephen says « This new chapter in the Merde saga is, of course, a deliberate attempt to cash in on the Olympics. I mean, why should I be different? As I write, countless Parisians are trying to rent out their apartments for the price of a sea-view suite in the Bahamas. I won’t be doing that, because it would mean tidying up and buying a new frying pan. »
You get the picture, Stephen is rather ironic in his tone. The new novel portrays Englishman Paul West living in Paris and he’s gearing up for the 2024 Olympics. Paul accepts a job with a French group who are campaigning to get pétanque adopted as an official Olympic event. In Paul’s opinion, lobbing lumps of lead around while drinking pastis is barely a sport – it’s more an excuse for Provençal men to avoid cooking dinner. But he needs the cash. Meanwhile Paul falls in love with a French tech genius – who thinks he’s an idiot – and tangles with his treacherous ex, Elodie. Paul also applies for French nationality and embarks on a war of attrition with France’s Napoleonic bureaucrats. In the background, Paul’s friend Jake, the grunge poet, decides that the Olympics and Paralympics discriminate against the lazy, and invents the “Nolympics”. On rollicking set of laughs after another.
FUSAC, of course, wants to know: When, where and how did you find out about FUSAC?
At a café in the Marais, when I was looking for a band who might want a dodgy English bass player. It must have been in 1993, when I arrived to work in a French company and needed an outlet for my frustrations, like playing in a blues club till 3am.
How did you get into writing books?
I wrote my first novel after leaving university – it was, of course, pretentious rubbish. After that I had a few more goes, getting (I think) progressively better at telling stories rather than just showing how many fancy words I learnt at university. Then a few years working as a journalist helped me to become a ruthless self-editor, and suddenly there I was, with A Year in the Merde on my computer. Not that any publishers were interested. So I self-published, and it became a hit. That’s how I got into writing full-time, thanks to all the people who bought A Year in the Merde.
What is the oddest request a reader or publisher has made?
My American publisher once got me to do a reading at a « French evening » in a New York clothes shop. Cheese and wine, with moi over the public address system while women were fighting for cut-price lingerie.
What is the French expression that makes you smile ?
« Merde » in any of its various meanings, from literal doggie droppings to people using it to mean « good luck ». I’ve based a whole career on that one word.
What is your favorite place to eat in Paris?
Any café terrace in the sun on one of the first fine days of spring.
In which Parisian monument would you like to be locked in for the night ? with whom?
The Hotel George V with Scarlett Johansson? No, only joking. Or the Olympia theatre (where Jimi Hendrix and the Beatles first played in Paris) with Jimi Hendrix. Or the British Ambassador’s residence with King Edward VII, so that he could confirm that all the outrageous Parisian exploits I describe in my book about him, Dirty Bertie, are true. He might be able to add a few more, too.
What are you currently reading?
The autobiography of a cadet in Napoleon’s army. I’m planning a book about Boney. He was actually quite funny, though not always deliberately.
What are you most proud of ?
When no publisher wanted A Year in the Merde, I got 200 copies printed myself and took to the streets to sell them. And I did it. It changed my life.
What was your last « fou-rire »?
I was trying to tell a joke to a French audience at a reading, and just before I got to the punchline, I noticed that the people in the front row were looking completely lost. I couldn’t say the punchline.
In which other century would you like to live?
The 35th. I bet by then, there will be wi-fi almost everywhere.
How long does it take to write a book ?
As long as it takes. A Year in the Merde took about nine months, Merde Actually the same. By the time of Merde Happens, I’d given up my dayjob. Talk to the Snail, most of it was in my head, and just needed a few intensive sessions at the laptop to get it down on paper. I have since realized that it can take a very long time to write a history book, because 1000 Years of Annoying the French took two years of delving into sources like the diary of a Parisian contemporary of Joan of Arc, the letters of Mary Queen of Scots and travel books inspired by Voltaire.
What is your next project?
Trying to sell my newest book, … please come buy one on January 20th!
See what else Stephen Clarke is up to on his website
Other Stephen Clarke books (available at Bill & Rosa’s Book Room of course), sometimes serious, but always playful, include:
« Dirty Bertie, King Edward VII gets some bad press. People think he was a bit of a waster, the in-between king – after Victoria and before World War One. But his young days in Paris actually changed European history. If he, an Anglo-German prince, hadn’t grown to love the French, there would be no Entente Cordiale, and the First World War would have come a lot earlier. Without him, we could have had a war with France, and then one with Germany. He had a lot of fun, but he put it to serious use. » –Stephane Clarke
The Spy who Inspired Me – A James Bond spoof
1000 Years of Annoying the French
A Year in the Merde, Merde in Europe
God Save La France (in French or English)
Talk to the Snail
Interview by Caroline Watt
